I’ve thought about starting this blog for a while. But a blog about fertility and sex and married life? Sounds pretty scary to do so much soul-bearing on the internet. But then again… I’ve got a lot to say.
I’ve been dreaming about my wedding night and subsequent honeymoon since I was in middle school. If I’m honest, probably before that. So what happens when honeymoon falls on your first day of fertility? I’ve waited (patiently, I might add) to have sex for 23 years. Am I honestly expected to wait on my wedding night? On my HONEYMOON?
In my opinion, a honeymoon is for two things: relaxation and sex. The closer the wedding gets, the more I begin to understand why this time-honored tradition was created. Weddings are freaking stressful! There is an immense amount of planning, prepping and partying. Seriously– there are like 6 parties before the big day. So by the time it is all over, you need a break. You need to do some deep breathing and re-claim your pre-wedding self… the one who wasn’t always on her computer researching flowers, cake and lace. You miss that girl, don’t you?! I know I do. And your sweetie probably misses her just as much. So a honeymoon is a time when you get to remember what it is like to be relaxed… and to get to know your new husband in an undivided kind of way. Sounds magical.
The other reason for a honeymoon is quite universally clear: sex. Whether you’ve been having it since you were 16 or you have never had it at all… the honeymoon is a time to get to know your spouse’s body. Sex is in the top 3 reasons for divorce (up there with money and in-laws). So, from my understanding, it is a really important part of the marriage. A honeymoon is a time when you get to escape from the world, guilt-free, and get jiggy with your best friend as many times as you like.
Here is the issue: my fiancee and I aren’t ready to have a baby… yet. We want to wait, say, 3 years. We’re young! To me, it seems that to forego sex on a honeymoon is a disrespectful and twisted way to start a marriage. To my soon-to-be husband,he thinks that having sex while ovulating is asking for a baby… which we aren’t asking for just yet. Is it imprudent to have sex when you aren’t ready (even if it is on your honeymoon)? Is it disrespectful and irreverent to not have sex on a honeymoon? Right now, I don’t know. What do you think?